As
I was preparing to leave in the weeks leading up to Africa I felt
discouraged. I didn’t feel the excitement I wanted to feel or felt I
should I have. And I had been excited to go for several months. So
I wanted to figure out what had changed. Was it me? Was it nerves
about leaving the country? Was I scared to be in contact with people who
had AIDS? I knew I had been discouraged with my job search and that was
putting a damper on things, but it should not have had the effect it did.
I actually felt the trip was coming at a good time. Take a week break and
come back renewed and ready to tackle it once again. I didn’t really have
any clear cut answers to any of my questions so I left for Africa trying to
look forward to the work we were about to do.
The first 24 hours were pretty rough. Two of us lost our luggage – I
being one of them. Not a huge deal, more of an annoyance really.
The airline felt they could get it there in a couple of days. I really
just felt sorry for my teammates. They were going to have to deal with me
in possibly smelly clothes till the rest of my things showed up. But the
next morning grabbing my towel I had a freak accident and ended up cutting my
hand pretty deeply. It was clear I was going to need stitches.
Questions swirled. How was I going to do ministry? How come I was
not more careful? I’m holding the whole team up. Should I just go
home? It was pretty clear at this point that everything the past couple weeks
had been the result of the enemy. Spiritual warfare if you may. He
had been casting doubts on this trip long before I set foot on the plane by
using my situation at home. And it didn’t stop. He wanted me to
think I had failed and go home. He didn’t want me to do God’s work.
But I’ve learned that even in situations that are taxing, God is in
control. I was blessed to have teammates who were willing to share their
things until my suitcase showed up. I do believe that one of them packed
their entire wardrobe which was a good thing for me. I had clean
clothes. Why did we have a nurse on the trip and why was she in my room
that first night? She bandaged me up and took care of the cut until we
were able to get to a clinic to have it taken care of. Why did I miss
cutting tendons – only tissue? And why did it not hurt? I knew then
that God was in control even through the attack.
When I held that first baby and had tears in my eyes I knew I had been obedient
and was fulfilling God’s work. I knew I had won. Yes it came with
challenges and obstacles, but it was worth all of it and ultimately God
won.
